Ever Wondered How To Hug A Naked Man?
January 14, 2021
I consciously knew where I was going was perfectly legal, yet a tiny prurient part of my brain kept pace with my curiosity until the park director opened the steel gate to allow me access.
She wore sneakers (the kind that made you "run faster and jump higher"), a white man-tailored shirt, unbuttoned and flapping in the breeze, a friendly, unabashed smile and nothing else. It was October a few years ago. I was on assignment as a freelance journalist for an article about naturists, and there was an obvious nip in the air.
She waved at the grinning mail carrier and hopped into her vehicle's leather seat. Even clothed and in a house, I loathe sitting on leather - too cold, too hot, too squeaky, too slippery - and wondered if the car's leather might be a pain in the ... posterior. I giggled at my funny, but quickly changed to a smile of faux nonchalance and waved as a naked couple power-walked past my car. I could not NOT laugh about the receding swaying buttocks in my rearview mirror.
Following the director, I passed naked people sunning by the pool, naked people chatting across a waist high hedge, naked people having a picnic, naked people playing fetch with their dog, and basically naked people just being naked. And before you think it, not any two were playing volleyball.
Her husband opened the door of their home naked. I mean, he was naked. He showed me around their lovey home. I think it was lovely. The ceiling was painted a cool white and there was carpeting under my feet. I was afraid to look anywhere else.
Thankfully they showed me out onto the back deck overlooking a splendid display of fall foliage covering rolling hills. We sat and discussed the park and nudism over coffee. It was nice. After a while they invited me to get naked.
"No. No, thank you. It seems kind of chilly today," I replied, zipping my sweatshirt up to my chin and pulling the hood over my head.
"It's not chilly. It's a perfect fall day!" exclaimed the husband, jumping up to perform calisthenics. Do you remember calisthenics? A buck-naked Jack LaLanne popped into my mind as I tightened the strings on my hoodie to avoid an accidental sighting of flopping body parts. He was doing jumping jacks at my elbow.
I snorted first. I couldn't stop the avalanche. And then giggled. Oh no! A roar of laughter, with tears. I was mortified. Even if I wanted to look, I couldn't see past the tears.
Once under control I apologized and with their gracious acceptance, we toured the park's facilities. It sported an Olympic size swimming pool, nine-hole golf course, and hiking trails throughout the entire private acreage. It was impressive.
After six hours of getting to know the warm-hearted couple, we hugged good-bye and I drove out of the park. Although not a lifestyle I could embrace, I learned that some people are totally comfortable in their own nudity. Cool!
I also learned how to hug a naked man ... carefully. Very carefully.