In 1976, I was a student at the Air Command and Staff College on Maxwell Air Force Base located in Montgomery, Alabama. One of the many dignitaries who welcomed my class was the mayor of Montgomery. His greeting included this story that was set in the darkest days of the Great Depression.
A high school football coach had a 0-9 record going into the last game of the season. Rumblings from parents and alumni were reaching the proverbial fever pitch. In fact, the school superintendent told the coach that his tenure as football coach depended on winning the last game against the school’s historic cross-town rival. With a wife and four children to take care of, the worried coach went to see his friend, who was the mayor of Montgomery.
He sobbed out his dilemma in the mayor’s office. The mayor reminded the frightened coach his school had won this finale of the season 10 years in a row. The mayor’s pep talk was somewhat reassuring; nonetheless, the coach asked His Honor what if his team lost. The mayor told the coach that was not going to happen, but if it did, the mayor would get him a job working for the city.
The game was played, the coach’s team was routed, and he was promptly fired. Monday morning the ex-coach was back in the mayor’s office. He reminded the mayor of his promise to find him a job working for the city. The mayor crawfished out of the promise. The mayor said, “Times are hard, budget tight, and job applications are half a foot tall on my desk.” The desperate coach said he would do any job. The mayor thought about his promise to his long-time friend and he hit upon a great idea. The city zoo had just lost the centerpiece attraction---a large, vocal gorilla. The now unemployed coach would wear an old gorilla costume and play the part from 9-4 each day. Reluctantly, he took the job.
At first he hated the job, children threw peanuts at him and yelled non-stop. But after a couple of weeks, he started to like it and the kids would now cheer his ever growing list of antics. One day he was swinging on a rope that had an old rubber tire attached. As kids cheered him on, and using only one arm, he went higher and higher. The rope broke landing the pretend gorilla in the lion’s cage. The ex-coach started screaming, “Help! Help! I’m no gorilla, get me out of here!” The lion comes over, opens his mouth and says, “Shut up dummy, you aren’t the first coach to go 0-10 in Montgomery!”
